Gryffindors are hopeless romantics, and all for extravagance and over-dramatization. They do want that Romeo and Juliet, tragic type of story, except in theirs, both them and their partner of choice actually surviving would be ideal. They like the idea of forbidden romance, or anything else that feeds their need for adventure. A simple, calm relationship is not the type of thing that interests them, as they always feel the need to keep the fire burning. They will often give you surprises, but they also expect them in return. They like varying things, from an indulgent night out to a simple surprise moonlight picnic on the beach, if you give them something they aren’t expecting after what due to their emotional force is bound to be a day full of stress, they will simply melt into you and feel the love between the both of you, and two will become one. If you keep them pleased in this manner, Gryffindors are one of the best types of lovers you can have, as they are incredibly loyal in their romance, saving any shred of lust in their body all bottled up and waiting to unleash the Lion onto you. Their sex drive is beaten perhaps only by those of the Slytherin house, and though they like to keep things in bed traditional they do like to mix up the setting. This could mean just candles or renting some suite for a night or two, but if you are constantly change where all the action happens, they are bound to feel they are exploring new parts of your body, something that the both of you will enjoy very much.
Hufflepuffs are a bit like honey, sweet and sticky to the point that once they lure you in with their indulgent scent then you will be stuck to them for a long time, if not forever. They are very agreeable lovers and do not ask for anything to ever be too fancy, though they do at times want it. The main goal with a Hufflepuff is that they expect you to know what they want, and their patience will give you plenty of time to figure out just what that may be, but don’t take too long or decide that if they can wait they don’t need it at all, or they will quickly shut you out. You need to know your Hufflepuff’s needs and act upon them, and sometimes they need to be caressed and pampered. Hufflepuffs have a sweet tooth and this affects their sex drive, and you may be able to find the wilder side of them by experimenting with foods in the bedroom, but aphrodisiacs also work best for them, so strawberries or chocolate are a sure way to get your Hufflepuff ready for the rest of your night’s endevours. Maintaining a relationship with a Hufflepuff is very easy, as normally they are peaceful and only want the best, keeping everything at peace. So long as you shower them with the occasional gift or compliment and keep them feeling loved and fluffed, they will always be yours.
A relationship with a Ravenclaw is a process, and you must be ready and willing to accept that process if you truly want to be with them. Ravenclaws are often cold and comfortable being alone at first, so getting to talk to them is the first goal, and once they are comfortable with you then they will begin to slowly open up, at which point you will have to gain their trust in order for them to want a relationship with you. Once this relationship starts, you will find it is a very comfortable one, as Ravenclaws rarely feel the need for anything fancy or extraordinary, as if they have deemed you worthy of their love that means that they are happy just with the idea of spending time with you, even neither of you talk. Just a night in bed with both of your noses in a good book and snuggling up sounds like a perfect time. As far as dates go, they tend to think that the simple dinner and a movie night will suffice, they don’t need you to go out of the way to make them feel indulged, and often they may feel guilty if you do. Ravenclaws are all for intellectual stimulation, and conversation is usually a good way to get their sex drive started. Just a sensible talk with meaning and a few drinks are enough to get them ready. Extreme kink isn’t really their type of thing, though their fetishes are varied and unique. Ravenclaws know exactly what they’re doing in bed, and they will make sure to find the best ways to make it enjoyable for the both of you.
A relationship with a Slytherin is a roller coaster, and be strapped in for the ride if you believe yourself prepared for it. Slytherins are cynical by nature but their ambition makes them great flirts, so while they may seem incredibly interested in you they rarely are, and it will take a long time before they trust you enough for a serious long-term relationship. Once a relationship does start it may have it’s fair share of bumps, as Slytherins are very emotional and often a bit self-loathing, so they may see themselves as doing things that are wrong while you think they are perfect just as they are. This will cause them to either give up and actually do things that are questionable, or shut you out under the self-convinced belief that you are bitter against them. The best way to avoid this is to fully convince your Slytherin that you love them, and their need for indulgence is extreme, so in order to do this it is best to go all out. Find a way to point out all of the key things that they like, to show how amazing you think they are as a person, as ego boosts are always a great thing for a Slytherin. They will feel much more warm and deep within you, and this will rekindle your romance. This cycle repeats quite often, which while it can be seen as something negative, it also means your relationship will never be boring. One trait that a snake symbolizes is a great sex drive, and Slytherins prove this quite well. They are up for anything and their ambition and fire shows in bed. They like to mix things up in various ways, and kink will keep them going throughout the entire night, if you can keep up.
OK, so this is just more proof that I am Rowena Ravenclaw’s however-great-grandson. How is this so accurate. I don’t. I can’t even.